The worst service I’ve had in recent times was at a newly opened Tollcross (Edinburgh) establishment that I would prefer not to mention at the moment. My family went in for a light bite on the way home, the waiter approached our table rather bullish in style and barked “are you ready” he then went on to explain that we could have a starter, a main and dessert for a remarkable £ can’t remember the price. I explained that on this occasion we were only after a main course, something light, I then went on to ask if the mixed grill was too spicy for my son and enough in quantity for 
two to share. He could answer neither question and simply offered defensively that it was good value for money. I asked for some more time to decide and he stormed off in a huff. When I called him back to the table he waved the manager over and whispered something to him along the lines of, and I’m guessing here “ there’s some awkward customers over there you deal with them” whilst pointing at us. Now if the food we ordered had been the best goddamn food in the entire world, the experience would have still been tainted.
When we entered Kebbabish Original last night my expectations were high. I eat at Kebabish on Glasgows South Side, so good, so friendly and the food so perfectly cooked . I have respect for people who cook with Charcoal, live flame, smouldering ashes, what a pain it must be to achieve this in a restaurant situation, the flavour is always amazing though.
We had no booking, so the greeter, crossed the huge barn of a restaurant to ask the manager, who turned round from his conversation and pointed at a table, to our utter disbelief the guy that was pointing was the same guy that pointed at us in the establishment previously mentioned. The bullish extremely rude waiter from before, unbelievable. The staff that took our drink order and the other manager who took our food order were friendly enough, the problem was only two of the seven floor staff were appointed the responsibility of taking customers orders. So tables, including ours, had to wait until one of two people had finished taking other orders or conversing with friends, as was the case with the guy that eventually served us. The managers who took orders never approached tables again, replaced by bus boys, ferrying dishes, full and empty, to and from tables, this seems like a mad impersonal and frustrating way to run a service.
The food - when you go to the trouble of cooking with charcoal and all the grief this involves, to dump all this charred goodness into a big mixed bowl with no thought to presentation or respect for the meat you have just grilled, to bury delicate lamb chops beneath lumps of chicken and sizzling kebabs, to me, makes no sense whatsoever. All the individual grilled items steamed together losing their crispness, the grill marks started running into black drips the meat went soggy and a pool of blackened meat juices drenched the once crisp onions that lined the base of the oddly named KO SHIP. An impressive amount of meat served wrongly in a funnelled giant cous cous dish. The days of serving salad in a dressing whose main ingredient is the water from the poorly dried lettuce, should by now be long gone. I’m not particular or over fussy especially not at the £15.00 a head level and I don’t expect to be fawned over, what I do expect is to be shown to my table by someone who gives a fuck, served and fed by people who like the fact that I’m there and want me to come back time and time again. Like, well like Mother India.
One final comment, just as we left a massive table of Labour politicians arrived including Alistair Darling, Sarah Boyak, Paul Godzak all politicians I have met, shaken hands with and conversed with, politicians I actually like, I hope to hell they got better food and service than my family.
